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Monday, October 5, 2009

my stupid mouth

1am in the morning.. naalimpungatan... malungkot... wala sa mood... tanga.. bobo... masakit ang katawan.. not literally okay.. physically emotionally......


wala naman ako mapagbuhusan kasi tulog na si bespleng..


LOVE - is an intense feeling of affection.. theres lot of definition for this word.. any individual can answer that question..


"WHAT IS LOVE"


some say "LOVE IS BLIND"
some say "LOVE IS SACRIFICE"
some say "LOVE IS CRAZY"
some say "LOVE IS POWERFUL"
basta madami....

ako
me
i am inlove right at this very moment..
but im so stupid... :(

i met a girl like it was months na.. like mga july.. i met her in a multimedia active chat client sa internet. i just saw her.. and saw her "KASAMA" sa loob ng chatroom.. accidentically lang un. kasi nag gagala ako.. then i just noticed masaya dun sa chatroom nila. kasi dami activities pag madaling araw.. laging may NAME THAT TUNE.. at ang malupet pa nun that time.. she is so fast when answering.. i was amazed kasi mapaluma o bago alam nya.. the game ended.. others went to sleep along with her.. me? lumabas ulit ng room then bumalik sa dati kong chatroom.. it was like 4 times ako napatambay dun.. after non. di na ko nakapunta ulit.. reactive ako sa kabilang room ko.. after 2months ata.. nung mejo tinatamad na ko sa room ko bumalik ako sa chatroom nila expecting the GUYS i met nung napatambay ako.. then. andun nga cla..


then i saw her again..
at first.. its "MASAYA" sya kasama..

i dont know it would come to a time that "BONDING" with her would lead into my HEART falling for her..

hmm..
this is the things i know about her..

she dont likes surprises daw.
she likes purple. ultimo pader ng dorm nya purple
she likes to draw. she likes pictionary
she loves to laugh...
pusong mamon....
she hates mabait (bubwit, daga, mice, mouse,)
shes craving for pizza..
shes sweet..
di cya sweet pag type/txt like celphones, mas sweet sa sa personal like pag magkasama kayo.
super sweet.
she got a diary with her..
when she starts to call u names or words starting with "MU" it means that she wanna make lambing or harut want to start a topic or a conversation. ("muhugss ngaa... :(" huuuggggsss)
she is lovable..
and she is worth loving for..

she is the one who made my heart jump again on its bed and dance like jabbawockeez



this the time when i want to say to her what i really feel...
GrandEyeball
i saw her
and my heart stopped.. di halata.. kasi habang lumalapit ako sa kanya.. tumatalon talon pa ko.. w/c is "finally i saw her" i wanna hug her that time but im too shy..
but naglakas loob na ko to hold her hand when we went out and buy goto sa place na madaming nagsasakla... we even went to a shore. na may nakadaong na bangka. picture picture.. then pasok sa sasakyan.. hanggang sa makababa kami ng sasakyan nakahwak kamay ko sakanya.. 3 hrs na lang.. maguuwian na... bago umuwi. naghati hati pa sa pasalubong nyang dala.. sarado na ang shop. some of our friends rode on a bus papuntang manila.. while the two of us waiting for a bus papunta sa kanila.. "AYUN OH MAY BUS! TARA." were running while holding her hand para maabutan ung bus.. pasakay na cya... ayokong bitawan ung kamay nya.. i wanna kiss her goodbye. but once again. tinamaan na naman ako ng hiya.. shet... then aun.. nakasakay na cya.. then i walked on the other side of the road para magabang nman ng bus ko pauwi.. i saw one and i rode on it.. while on the bus. im smiling.. kasi kinikilig ang lolo mo.. ahaha...baka nga natutulog akong nakangiti. nakakahiya sa konduktor... i got home mga 9 in the morning..

nakauwi ako na hindi ko nasabi na gusto ko sabihin.

that was the time i declared to myself.. I.. AM.. SO.. INLOVE....
i told her what i feel about her..
she told me naman how she really feel also
she like someone else...
for me.. its kinda sad.. but im thinking. i wanna still go for it.. i wanna make a move..

then it was parang normal pa din naman.. we laughed, we share stories, we go private and talk about nonsense stuff like "oi panoorin mo to sa utube, oi galawin mo na mousehunt mo, paaccecpt naman ng friend request, mukain ako ng tuna. hihi.., ang tigas ng unan ko.. i dont like my unan,"
and some cheesy/lambingan stuffs like " main ka na ba? uu naman. good.. huggsss ngaaa.. HUGGGSSS.. mukiliti kita sa lele, mukiss kita sa cheekbones.."

and some stuff like (me telling stories then..) uyy jan ka pa? " ZZZzzzZZzzzZzz.. zZZzZzZzzzZZ" nakatulog na pala.. but i just dont cancel our prvt conversation. im just letting her sleep, parang nagbabantay.. feeling ko tuloy.. kasama ko na cya.. w/c makes me happy.. parang natutulog sya sa balikat ko... habang nakaakap sa knya na ganun feeling.. hays...

di ko alam na hahantong na din ako sa ayoko nang mawala cya... :(

ANG SARAP MAINLOVE....


but may isang araw na may naisip ako at sana ndi na lang nangyari..


one day i felt so down and lonely
feeling that i cant compete anymore..
i told her...
and i felt cold..
parkiramdam na parang nanlamig sya sakin eventhough naman na hindi kami..
but still it feels so right when im with her..

i tried to talk to her madaling araw. i got home, go online and find her..i txted her to go online. then nawalan ng net. (buset na net.)
di na maganda timpla ko dahil sobrang sama ng pakiramdam ko.. humiga ako sa sofa. txtd her again. "ndi mu na ko mupapansin. hays"
replied.


may txt cya..

tinatamad lang ako mgtxt. ano na? papag ol mo ko tas wala ka naman. ano ba sasabihin mu?

natakot na ko... mukang galit ata. or wla sa mood..

i replied.
mumiss lang kita.. wet lang.. wala pa net..

eh ang tagal ng net.. nakatulog ako..

nagising akong nanlalamig.. im chilling like nasa chiller ako ng ref.. umaapoy na pala lagnat ko.
dinala ako nila ermats sa ospital..

doctor: "over fatigued ka nak. magpahinga ka ng complete hours of sleeping. para makabawi ka"
we got home and bought some meds sa ospital na din mismo.. naririnig ko sinasabi nya.. pero hindi pumapasok sa utak ko..


i think deeply before going to sleep a while ago..


"nanlamig na cya sakin."
"pesteng buhay.."
"andami kong plano pero bakit ko nasabi un"


di ko alam kung magiging ganto pa kami

when i or she go online. walang mintis.. may huggssss agad sa instant message...
masaya pa ba pag magkikita kami sa room..?
makakausap ko pa ba cya like dati?

di ko lam.. cguro wala lang akong kain. or masakit pa katawan ko. o disoriented pa ko sa lahat ng bagay..

hindi kami.. ndi na ko makakaangal don..
ndi ko na din cguro mababawi ung mga nasabi ko..



ang TANGA ko...

me and my big mouth....



but she is the only one that made my heart fall again... until now...
:(


the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing, try again.
How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
Oh, what's a boy to do
I guess he better find one


I'm never speaking up again
It only hurts me
I'd rather be a mystery
Than she desert me


Oh I'm never speaking up again
Starting now





np: the man i was with you - jimmy bondoc
my stupid mouth - john mayer.

"love knows no boundaries"

1 comment:

  1. pitchii: bagay?
    tidii: hindi
    pitchii: hayop?
    tidii: ahh... hindi ata!
    pitchii: events?
    tidii: hindi rin!
    pitchii: lugar?
    tidii: hindi!!
    pitchii: tao?
    tidii: oo ata!
    pitchii: sikat?
    tidii: hindi!
    pitchii: nasa cf?
    tidii: oo!
    pitchii: nasa puso mo?
    tidii: oo!
    pitchii! ahh ako!
    tidii: oo.. :(

    hehe!

    -kunwari di ko alam na ako yang laman ng blog mo. ahahah! cheer up tidii.. youre thinking too much. miss u much :x hugggsss!

    ReplyDelete